Archive for the ‘douchebaggery’ Category

a lesson

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

Yesterday, my son left his bike in the driveway, leaning against the wood pile near the fence to my backyard. The same location I had left one of my own bicycles overnight once, only to wake and find it stolen the next morning. Bubs went to go for a bike ride and came in with tears running down his cheeks. He knew it was gone. We looked around the backyard and his buddies houses just in case he had forgotten and left the bike. But nope, it was gone. I told him to hop on his other bike and ride around the block and he lucked out. Someone had apparently stolen the bike to ride about half a block away and then deposited the bike on the side of the road.

I reminded him that Daddy lost his bike and learned his lesson, and that he should be thankful he didn’t have to lose his bike to learn as well. I’m extremely tempted to put a decoy bike and wait for whomever thought it would be funny to steal a child’s bike. If I find you, I’m going to put extra teeth into your mouth (maybe I can find some shark jaws) , just so I can be satisfied with the number of teeth I knock out of your fucking head.

Viv is very excited to be signed up for ballet. My mother was nice enough to spring for the lessons (man, my money situation sucks). She got to check out the studio today and I can’t wait to see her pirouetting all over the place.

no reason to hold a candlelight vigil for my intonation… it’s cool… its cool

Saturday, August 29th, 2009

A few observations from this past week…

Eagles fans gave Michael Vick a warmer response than I expected. I’m sticking with my position of waiting and seeing on what Vick does with this opportunity, but you also won’t see me applauding or booing in the meantime.

Standing up for yourself is always right, no matter if it risks losing some business for the right reasons. I’m now an even firmer believer in sticking to my guns.

“It’s business, not personal” is only said by pussies. If your business isn’t personal, what the hell are you doing? Saying this phrase does not give you license to be an asshole, it only helps you sleep at night.

Abbe was commissioned for her first dress! This rocks. My friend Susan is a really pretty lady, I can’t wait to post pictures.

My friend Bill (from Dixon Hill) is a blast to work with. Working with another developer that enjoys both teaching and learning is a shitload of fun. Bill and I have this symbiotic technology sharing that is really benefiting both of our businesses. We’re like a clownfish and anemone. This is the way it’s supposed to be.

Ryan Howard is knocking the snot out of the ball. Lidge looks lost. Lee continues to dominate. Werth and Victorino are having amazing seasons. Phils look strong in the NL, but I’m less than optimistic at this point of a repeat.

My health has to be a part of this whole rebirth of being successful. I have to carve out time everyday to get a run or bike ride in. Have. to.

Here’s a couple of Lucina Williams songs for Jan‘s lesson… my intonation on my guitar was off… so sorry for the crapful soundings… but I did fix it with a couple turns on the trussrod, so no reason to hold a candlelight vigil for my intonation… it’s cool… its cool

Drunken Angel…

2 Kool 2 Be 4 Gotten…

Vicktory?

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

So, my beloved Eagles signed Michael Vick? If you don’t live in the Philadelphia area, you aren’t getting all of the sports talk radio call-ins, but I’m sure you’re getting a sampling on ESPN of the debate. There are some that are so disgusted with the signing that they have sworn to give away their season tickets, there are some that are overjoyed that this elite athlete and hero to African American youths is being given a “second” chance.  Is it a second chance? Let’s count ‘em…

At Miami International Airport, Vick tried to dump a water bottle with a hidden compartment after being confronted at a security checkpoint. Officials said they believe marijuana residue was in it. Although no charges have yet to be filed in that case, authorities have submitted the water bottle for testing.

Vick twice flipped off his own fans after a November drubbing of the Falcons on the part of the New Orleans Saints, incurring a $10,000 fine.

Vick swore to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodall that he had no knowledge of dogfighting at his estate, and the allegations were false.

Vick still faces a 2005 civil suit charging him with giving Herpes Simplex 2 to a Georgia woman. The suit claims Vick admitted he had the condition after she confronted him.

AirTran Airways announced it would not renew his contract as a spokesman for the airline. Vick had failed to appear as scheduled before Congress April 24 to speak about the need to fund after-school programs. A spokesman for Vick blamed their airline for the missed breakfast date. AirTran said that claim was untrue.

April 20, 2007: Davon Boddie, Vick’s cousin, is arrested in the parking lot of a Hampton nightclub and charged with possession of marijuana with intent to distribute.

April 25, 2007 : Investigators searching Boddie’s residence, owned by Vick, in Surry County discover dogfighting items and more than 60 dogs.

April 27, 2007: Police find dog-training complex in the woods just behind Vick’s Virginia home. Animal control officers count 66 dogs on the property.

July 2, 2007: In court documents, authorities allege that dogfighting operation called Bad Newz Kennels has operated on Vick’s property for the past five years.

July 17, 2007: The U.S. Attorney’s office announces that Vick and three others have been indicted by a federal grand jury in connection with dogfighting.

Aug. 27, 2007: Vick pleads guilty to dogfighting conspiracy before U.S. District Judge Henry Hudson. At a news conference, Vick apologizes for “using bad judgment and making bad decisions. I offer my deepest apologies to everyone. And I will redeem myself. I have to.”

September 13, 2007 : Vick fails drug test for marijuana, violating parole.

Nov. 20, 2007: Vick surrenders to U.S. marshals and begins serving his sentence in a Virginia jail three weeks before his official sentencing.

Dec. 10, 2007: Vick is sentenced to 23 months in federal prison.

Jan. 7, 2008: Vick leaves Virginia to enter a drug treatment program at a Leavenworth, Kan., minimum security facility.

July 8, 2008: Vick files for bankruptcy protection.

Nov. 25, 2008: Vick appears in a Virginia courtroom to plead guilty to a state dogfighting charge and receives a three-year suspended sentence.

I’m all for second and third chances, but this is insane. This isn’t a second chance, this is like a 9th chance. The honest answer to this debate is time will tell, will Vick use his clout to really make a difference in animal cruelty as so promised? I definitely hope so.

The alarming trend I’ve listened to on sports talk radio is the polarization this issue has had between white and black males on the airwaves. Not to generalize, but wow. Last time there was this kind of split… well O.J. Simpson definitely comes to mind. Now granted… the call-screeners on these radio stations are looking for the Springer-Show-chair-flinging-morons of the group, but the white guys are saying “people that abuse animals can go on to rape and murder people” and the black guys are saying, “it was just dogs, there are converted convicts guilty of man-slaughter that have become part of society again.” Again, don’t mean to generalize at all, that’s just what is on the radio.

Now as far as Vick as an addition to the Eagles… I’m really unsure about this. Vick was one of the most electrifying open field runners I’ve ever seen, absolutely. But I’ve seen this guy play in very good seats (in 2007) and honestly, I can throw a better ball to a receiver 20 yards and further down the field. I don’t think this guy can even come close to replacing McNabb, let alone back him up. Wildcat formations? Definitely. Use him as a wideout? Absolutely (as long as he can catch a ball). Vick on an end-around? Awesome. He is a weapon, not a quarterback that will win a championship.

So will I stop watching the Eagles and cheering for them? No. My prediction is that Vick will have little to no impact on the Eagles this year. My theory is that he will see mop-up duty late in games that are out of reach, putting on auditions for other teams to trade away a third round pick to the Eagles. In the fourth quarter of a game already decided, he will score on some insane rush from a broken play and it will be all over SportsCenter for four days and will give him the media leverage for a starting job for a struggling team. I think that’s the extent of his tenure with the Eagles.

The only thing that truly bothers me is not resigning such a damn good player (and proven quality contributor to society) as Brian Dawkins and we give someone with a sketchy track record that has been out of football for two years a spot on our roster? That pisses me off as a fan. Look at BDawk in this picture… he can fuckin’ fly. That’s got to be an advantage on the football field.

The good news so far? Well, the rescued dogs from Vick’s residence are doing ok, check out Vicktory Dogs.

One thing I am really enjoying lately are signs like this. Down the road from me, a car detailing shop has their normal sign that lists the special of the day/week and above the car detailing special are the words, “STOP SOCIALISM”. Fascists do love a freshly detailed car.

why you should never take a “how well do you know” facebook quiz from your girlfriend as explained by the characters in Metal Gear Solid

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

Porn Site Terry called me yesterday, not to go over the projects he’s sending my way, but because he wanted to see how I’ve been doing. As another guy that has gone through divorce and the decision to work for himself, he’s quite a resource and a friend. He reminded me that the depression just doesn’t go away, there’s no lightswitch that clicks by itself once you get your shit straight. Above all else, he echoed some of the same advice I offer to many folks that are going through loss – be patient with yourself.

Then I got this chat transcript forwarded to me from Bill and Lori (I worked with both at TD Commerce)…

William A …
wanna know what van used to say

2:51:36 PM
Lori A /C…

hit me.

2:51:41 PM
William A …

cause i would complain about [name withheld]

2:51:43 PM
Lori A /C…

with it… dont hit me.
2:51:50 PM
go ahead.

2:52:02 PM
William A …
he would say. i bet he takes big dumps

2:52:08 PM
Lori A /C…

hahahaha!!!

2:52:09 PM
William A …

meaning backups

2:52:20 PM
Lori A /C…

thats van all right!

2:52:23 PM
William A …

haha
2:52:26 PM
i miss van

2:52:30 PM
Lori A /C…

me too!

Thank you Bill and Lori, I needed that and I miss you guys too.

Then I got this…

And this is what went on in my stupid head…








Links for my geeky homies…

my new service – the bad movie crapper

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

I had two really good meetings yesterday. First I met with Bill from Dixon Hill, I went over a lot of my past and current projects. This was cool for a couple of reasons, #1 it’s always fun to talk code with a fellow PHP/MySQL programmer (I know ladies, calm down… down girl, down) and #2 there was some affirmation as I showed Bill my furiousCMS app I’ve been writing and he dug it. Bill walked me through some of the Dixon Hill projects and I was duly impressed with what they’ve been up to. Can’t wait to work with them.

Next I met up with Rob from CaddisArt (check out their site, MyManZone – probably some good Father’s Day gift ideas)down at the Woodbriar Inn in West Berlin for a beer or nine and to talk shop a bit. Rob is looking for a go-to guy for site maintenance for his 1000 or so existing sites. I explained to him my situation and it was really cool to hear that he chose me because of my experience, but moreso, he liked what he had read about my hunger and attitude towards work. Work hard, play hard.

Beyond that, I had a good day working on chopping up the Wheelies redesign into CSS layers and plugging in the furiousCMS in the backend, fixed a logout issue with VidiScript on Nude Celebrity Sex Videos (again, that’s a Christian flea market, mostly selling hand sewn wallets and keychain thingies with bible verses on them), did some research into affiliate networks for upcoming projects with Brian from ZeroPercentCards.com, and fixed an issue with the RSS feed for Sageth.com.

I love direct mail… the irony of getting my unemployment check AND an ad from a Porsche dealer… oh man…

Movie review…

S. Darko – Ok, if you plan on watching this sequel to the cult classic Donnie Darko, here’s what I will do for you…

  1. I will come to the theater (or your couch if you are watching on DVD),
  2. drop my pants,
  3. take a huge shit right next to you,
  4. leave*

Me taking a dump right next to you will make this movie more enjoyable. It’s that bad. Seriously.

*Note – I put the leave step in there because I just figure if you are enjoying someone’s poop, it’s probably weird to make eye contact with said pooper.