this is one for the ladies…

I had a nice talk with Bubs on the phone last night and we had said goodbye, but then the phone rang again, this time it was my ex asking if I had hung up on Bubs. He was crying badly thinking his Daddy hung up on him. I explained we had said goodnight (a couple times actually) and then we hung up. He must have thought of something else to tell me and got a dial tones. He was too tired and didn’t want to get back on the phone. This sucks so bad. There are nights I fucking hate phones, but more accurately these 800 stupid fucking miles.

I watched an incredible movie last night, recommended to me by DiTouching the Void. Two mountain climbers set out to climb the Siula Grande in the Peruvian Andes, which had never been climbed prior. On the way up the mountain, one of the climbers badly breaks his leg. They begin lowering him down, until he ends up hanging off a cliff. The uninjured climber has no choice (he can’t see the injured climber and has no idea what has happened) but to cut the rope. Somehow, he injured climber survives the drop and falls into a huge crevice. This story is amazing unto itself, but the photography of the reenactment is breathtaking.

OK, lady readers of furiousBall, your voices have been heard, behold, my organ in spandex…

And since you all asked so nicely, I took the spandex off too and just threw it on the floor…

This past weekend, I’m not sure how, but I got a crack in my blackberry (which conversely is much better than a blackberry in my crack).

And I noticed, hey… that kind of looks like a stick figure…

31 Responses to “this is one for the ladies…”

  1.  Chris Says:

    I feel strangely cheated… Hmph.

    Woe the Crackberry! Woe!

    *hug* I wish they’d hurry up with that transporter technology – it would sure help you now…

  2.  Maureen Says:

    That so sucks about being far from the kids… I am so sorry when I read your struggles. You’re a great dad; you do more with your kids than many dads who are around full time.

    That crack crack (heh!) was great. Love the stickman!

  3.  Kyla Says:

    Oh you’re clever, aren’t you? LOL.

    Isn’t that why they are called Crackberries?

    Your poor little guy. It is hard when they misunderstand, it must be maddening to be to far away to soothe it away.

  4.  Claudia Says:

    Van,

    Woah, what a BIG organ you have. ;)

  5.  liv Says:

    you know what that spandex makes me think?

    “So you can tell a man get to the right–ho!
    I’m in the driver’s seat, so sit to the right
    And this is just to get to the flight
    I like the way it fit to you tight…”

    because i’m all up in the stuff of fabolous today. or something.

  6. Avatar of furiousBall furiousBall Says:

    Chris – you wouldn’t believe how long it took me to keep Yogi out of the picture, whenever he sees my spandex or running shoes, he starts his “oh boy daddy, take me for a run, take me for a run, take me for a run, take me for a run, take me for a run, take me for a run, take me for a run, …” dance

    Maureen – thank you for saying so. that stick guy is pretty angry, i think he just gave me the finger.

    Kyla – it is indeed maddening

    Claudia – and i’m happy to see you too

    liv – that’s from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 130 right?

  7.  lime Says:

    aww that is a bummer. try to think about all the memory bubs will have when he grows up though…daddy spoke to me every night because he loved me. in the end that will be the dominant memory, not that one call went wrong. i know it hurts though.

    nice organ.woohoo!

  8.  Jazz Says:

    Um… for the record, I didn’t ask for the organ, I asked for the glutes. You took the easy way out F.

  9. Avatar of furiousBall furiousBall Says:

    lime – yep, it’s tough to keep that in mind, but you’re right.

    Jazz – i have a pet donkey, so I can show you my ass in spandex

  10.  Di Says:

    Any man who wants to talk about his organ has been destroyed by you openly flaunting yours …

    I did nag a little, didn’t I lol, sorry but I just thought ‘By crikey, Van might like this’.

  11.  tori Says:

    I’m sorry about the phone call stuff. That really sucks. I know that you know that he knows you are an awesome dad, right? Because you are! Phones suck!

    You are way too funny! I LOVE the pictues,and while I am sorry your blackberry has a crack, I am happy for the laugh you gave me this morning!

  12.  On a Limb with Claudia Says:

    I interviewed Ian Baker who believed he found Shangri-la. It sounds like your movie. Oh my God, his story was amazing – a crevice in the middle of the cold, dry, frozen planes which was a tropical paradise filled with great food, warm people… amazing. He was only in the country for a couple weeks, then went back. I’ll see if I can find the interview. Amazing.

    You, and your enormous organ, are incredibly hot. Thank you for sharing your well endowed blessing with us. I’m… um…. hot just looking at the picture. Hot, I tell you, hot.

  13.  Carolyn Says:

    We’re all swooning…

  14.  Slow Panic Says:

    The 800 fucking miles is just bad. I don’t know how you do it.

    The organ is incredible.

    The crack in the blackberry not so much.

  15.  Jen M Says:

    Okay – dork time: What’s better than flowers on a piano?

    Tulips on an organ.

    Snort – sorry – your fault.

  16.  mamatulip Says:

    Nice organ, Van…

    …I need to be alone.

  17.  flutter Says:

    Dude, so all we have to do is ASK for stuff and you DO IT?

    This is a very handy thing to know. Seriously.

  18. Avatar of furiousBall furiousBall Says:

    Di – nah, that wasn’t nagging, the movie was great!

    tori – glad you got a chuckle, that why i act like a moron you know.

    On A Limb with Claudia – it’s pretty impressive isn’t it?

    Carolyn – like I had told you, I had trouble fitting it through the door

    Slow Panic – there have been times I’ve wanted to throw the blackberry, but yeah, I love my little blackberry, he’s my friend

    Jen M – hahaha, good one – welcome to my mess over here btw.

    mamatulip – it’s girthier than you thought it would be huh?

    flutter – i will interpret the request as displayed here, but mostly yeah

  19.  Maddy Says:

    Sorry, not lurking the phone rang and I forget what I was doing.

    Move over Tom Jones!
    Cheers

  20. Avatar of furiousBall furiousBall Says:

    Maddy – It’s not unusual, to be mad with anyone
    It’s not unusual, to be sad with anyone
    but if I ever find that you’ve changed at anytime
    it’s not unusual to find out that I’m in love with you
    whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh

  21.  Marty Says:

    Yes, berries in your crack are always worrisome. BTW, I’ve wanted to see “Into the Void” – another one to add to my growing list.

  22.  meno Says:

    You are leaving the crackman on your blackberry forever aren’t you?

    You must.

  23. Avatar of furiousBall furiousBall Says:

    Marty – it’s a good one, great story

    meno – i’m not touching that guy, you can see how mean he is

  24.  Mary Says:

    Must be hard to run with all that organ in your spandex…

  25.  Christy Says:

    I’m sorry Bubs felt that way and then didn’t get back on the phone. Seems to me he would have opted to get back on the phone and end the night better…hmm.

    Maybe write up a quick comic…draw a stick figure post-it note apology. Send Mrs. Fields cookies or…um…something of the sweet persuasion. Hey that would work for me!

    I am sure he knows now that you did not hang up on him and would never do such a thing.

  26.  Jocelyn Says:

    People on crack are always so rude.

    I’m glad your ex followed up by calling back and didn’t just try to smooth things over without you there, on the other end.

    Okay, but I’m really here to tell you: Darlin’, I knew your comment on my latest post would be good. I just knew. But tarnation if you didn’t pull out the Don Johnson “Heartbeat.” In my wildest dreams, I couldn’t have hoped for that.

  27.  Jocelyn Says:

    Oh, and the part where you pulled off your spandex and dramatically flung it to the floor, revealing your organ?

    Not at all anti-climactic.

  28.  V-Grrrl Says:

    Lighting a cigarette over here…

  29. Avatar of furiousBall furiousBall Says:

    Mary – definitely not as aerodynamic

    Christy – we talked last night and fixed it (see today’s post)

    Jocelyn – i’m not sure if a curtsy is appropriate for the Don Johnson lyrics, but I’m doing it anyway

    Jocelyn – wait, that’s a lot of negatives… i think that made it climactic ? or a climate?

    V-Grrrl – so, yeah, i’ll call you… you know sometime…

  30.  April Says:

    I would much rather see you in spandex….but the organ is impressive. You got that off of craigslist in the free section….WOW!!!

    Just remember that they’ll be with you soon. They know that you love them. That’s really all that matters at this point.

  31. Avatar of furiousBall furiousBall Says:

    April – check the blog on dental surgery days, who knows what will be up here

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