Au revoir, Vivienne
I cried in the shower this morning in hopes that no one would hear me and the warm water would soften my eyes and it wouldn’t be so obvious. No dice. I got out and my eyes have never been redder. I cried hard in the shower, I probably didn’t need to turn the water on there were so many tears. But the big problem was I couldn’t stop crying. While I was dressing, Viv called for me and then said, “You’re the best dad in the whoooooole world!”
I’m a puddle after she finished her declaration. She hugged me hard and I picked her up. She then noticed her Daddy’s wet cheeks. “Why you cryin’ Daddy?”
“Because I’m going to miss you pumpkin.”
“Let me get you a tissue.” She ran off to the bathroom and returned and wiped my tears away. Then I cried at how sweet she was for doing that.
“Daddy, you have to stop crying!”
“Sorry princess.”
I finally slowed the tears a little bit. I rode bikes with Bubba to drop him off for camp. I came back and gave her another tearful hug goodbye. I got back in the car to go to work and cried hard. Throat hurts. I backed the car out of the driveway. I pulled it back in and bolted back inside for another hug.
“Au revoir Vivienne. I love you.”
“Au revoir Daddy. I love you too.”
There are no words that can describe my heartbreak right now. You’d only know if you’ve had Viv’s arms around your neck and seen her beautiful smile. Life just got a lot less beautiful.
I worked my ass off last night, I booked over 8 hours in billable side work. I have to keep this up. I’m afraid to slow down, not just for the financial implications. I don’t want to dive into myself right now and know what’s there. This is way too much for me right now.
- Kung Fu Tape Dispenser
- Extreme Custom Vans from Japan – Bubba will love this, we Vans like anything about vans.
- All of our laws = crock of shit – if you’re friends with W.
- Augenblick – good offensive cartoons
- QUILTSRŸCHE – heavy metal quilts
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:37 am
I am destroyed for you…OH man…
I’m so, so sorry…
Just know that someone 3000 miles away is shedding some tears for you and your family right now…and I’m sending you my best. Honestly, my friend…
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:42 am
And those pics are so beautiful…they make me ache even more…
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:50 am
*hug*
*sniff*
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:31 am
I am so sorry…
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:32 am
no words. just sympathy.
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:34 am
I love the photos. The unicorn ones are particularly great. Your description of saying goodbye to her is very touching and heartbreaking.
However, I hope you didn’t forget to say “À bientôt” — because you will see her later. You have to remember that. I’m sure that’s little consolation, but still …
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:34 am
ouch man… very ouch.
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:30 am
I am so sorry man.
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:51 am
What apertome said.
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:57 am
You are in my thoughts, Van.
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:59 am
The shower is one of my favorite places to break down.
I’m going to agree with Apertome, too. You will see her later! And the snow suit picture is wonderful. All of them are wonderful, but that’s my favorite.
July 3rd, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Oh, Van, I’m so sorry….
I just had a little cry for you as well. The upside to crying in the shower is that you’ll be really, really clean for a while.
July 3rd, 2007 at 1:00 pm
From somone that’s been through it, just know things have a way of working out …. and you got a shoulder if you want it.
Hang in there!
((((((((((((((((((U))))))))))))))))))))
July 3rd, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Can’t see the keyboard for all the tears in my eyes. I shoulda learned to type. I’m so sorry.
July 3rd, 2007 at 7:37 pm
Ah, Van. I’m so sorry, mate. I really am.
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Wish we lived closer. My thought are with you..
July 4th, 2007 at 12:41 am
Those are wonderful pictures. I’ll just echo everybody’s sentiments here, and I’m so sorry.
On another note, I’ve given you a button. Check my blog for more info.
July 4th, 2007 at 9:47 am
I’ve got lots of love for you, Van. I am sending prayers your way.
July 5th, 2007 at 12:57 am
Mom and I shared in your tears yesterday.. Can’t wait to squeeze lil Viv again
July 5th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Great pictures, Van – a beautiful girl. Good luck with all of this.
July 5th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
*Snap*
Sound of my heart breaking for you.
July 6th, 2007 at 8:42 am
My heart’s aching for you.
July 10th, 2007 at 7:04 am
Big Bro- You are in our thoughts and prayers. We are here for you for anything. Going to miss my niece and nephew! Can’t stop crying now. Love you, Amy